How I Knew It Was Time To Leave My Job and Make a Career Change
Sometimes when we feel stuck in our careers, we look around and see others performing at such a high level, that we wonder, “Am I the only one? Is there something wrong with me?”
In this post and video, I share my experience of feeling completely stuck in my career and how I knew it was time that I had to make a pretty massive change.
I had my “dream job”.
8 years ago, I landed my “dream job” - a job that was supposed to be a game-changer in my career and really accelerate my growth and my success in the industry. I'd hustled incredibly hard and made numerous personal sacrifices for 6 years to have the shot at this opportunity. I was pumped!
But after just a few months, I realized that I was in a toxic work environment in a role absolutely not meant for me. I had been demoted for nothing related to my performance. I was debilitatingly anxious and severely depressed.
I was very good at my job at the time, but it felt so incredibly hard because it really wasn't leveraging my natural strengths or the values that were most important to me.
But it turns out my dream job wasn’t my dream after all.
I had the skills, but my strengths were majorly mismatched. No matter what I did, it just wasn't going to work. I wasn't going to hit that flow others around me had on the daily. Where their work felt like play and gave them energy when they left the office.
I woke up every day dreading going to work. Which sucked because my work weeks were usually 6 or 7 days long. The Sunday Scaries were real and at some point it actually turned into pretty much Every Day Scaries.
The tipping point for me, or the point where I really realized, "Yo, I can't do this anymore. I can't go on like this for the next 30 or 40 years. This has to change." was when I ended up in the emergency room with a stomach ulcer. Yep. I was 27 and my job was literally destroying not only my mental health, but now my physical health as well.
How did I even get here?
I realized I'd bought into advice or a spoken or unspoken expectation of:
"Just work hard, keep achieving, and you'll be successful."
"You don't have to have it figured out, just go try something and it'll all figure itself out."
So I put my head down and worked hard. I latched onto a definition of success that - at the time - I thought was universal. More promotions. More achievement. More, more more. And while I was making good progress on shooting to reach that definition of success, I had no direction, no purpose, no meaning in what I was doing every single day.
I wasn’t becoming the person I wanted to be. Hell, I didn’t know who I wanted to become. I had worked my ass off for a highly-niche career that I didn’t want. I had followed someone else’s dream and never once stopped to question it or figure out what I really wanted. What my definition of success was. Who I wanted to become.
Then… all of the feelings.
I felt ashamed for being ungrateful for what I had.
I honestly felt pretty stupid for not knowing what I was good at or what I wanted to do.
I felt guilty at the thought of selfishly throwing away the investment my mentors, my managers, people who I respected, the time and energy they had put into helping me growth in this industry.
I felt terrified that I’d be stuck, have to start completely over and throw away the last 8 years of experience and educational training, or even end up feeling exactly the same way in my next job.
But what Am I even Good at?!
This question of “But, if not this...then what?! What am I even good at?” was on loop pretty much 24/7.
Which was even more challenging, because I was in an environment that really wasn't focused on strengths at all. Nope that wasn't a thing. The mantra was “What are your weaknesses and work your tail off - often against your natural tendencies and personality - to improve those." Please and thank you. Bye.”
Spoiler alert: It didn't work. And didn't give me any inkling of what I should be doing instead.
You’ve got this.
Hang in there. I know it's tough and it can feel crushing to realize that what you've worked your booty off for isn't actually the right fit. But there's a way to make a change. It doesn't have to be guesswork. You don't have to stay stuck. It'll take hard work, action before you feel ready, and an open mind, but it is possible.
It's your turn to be one of those people who loves what they do.
Want to talk it out? Wondering how coaching can help you to get there faster? I’d love to help.